Q. They arn't babies, they are 2 & 4, both girls. i am really at my wits end. im pregnant, so im tired all the time & finding it difficult to look after them never mind look after myself or get the energy to clean the house. i havnt eaten properly in 3 or 4 days, also i havnt showered for the same length of time, gross i know but how can i get into the shower with a 2 year old running about & im so exausted from not eating all day that i fall asleep on the sofa just after i put them to bed. my husband works all the time, my mother works too & has just had an operation, she cant look after them., i have no sisters to help out & all my friends have kids of their own, my husbands mother & father r 2 busy with their own lives, buts thats another story, so i have no-one to watch the kids even for an hour to get a break from them.
on top of all that all my kids do is cry, they fight then cry, fall then cry, when their tv show is over they cry, when i dont let them draw on walls they cry, when i discipline them (& i do, i dont let them get away with bad behavior but i am not too hard on them) they cry. i distract them with toys then they fight over toys & cry, when their father leaves for work they cry, when my mother visits then leaves they cry, when we visit my mother & go home they cry. when i put them to bed they cry. when i take them out of the bath they cry.
& im on my own with them, what am i supposed to do?
on top of all that all my kids do is cry, they fight then cry, fall then cry, when their tv show is over they cry, when i dont let them draw on walls they cry, when i discipline them (& i do, i dont let them get away with bad behavior but i am not too hard on them) they cry. i distract them with toys then they fight over toys & cry, when their father leaves for work they cry, when my mother visits then leaves they cry, when we visit my mother & go home they cry. when i put them to bed they cry. when i take them out of the bath they cry.
& im on my own with them, what am i supposed to do?
A. Perhaps you could get more involved with the neighbors, if they have children about your children's ages. It is hard to give information without knowing your complete situation and that is not practical here.
Adults tend to make too much of children crying. Children to do not have the capacity to cope with change that we do. Often adults get upset at children when they cry, yell at them and everyone gets even more upset. Maybe it is a hold over from when our parents yelled at us when we cried as kids.
Crying is a temporary measure to cope with stress. We all did it. Virtually all of us outgrew it.
You certainly do not want them hurting each other, but 5 minutes after fighting and battling, they are best friends and sharing. About all you can really do is to tone it done a little.
Then of course, there are hormones. You cannot blame them for every time you may have become angry too soon. But you do have to realize that you are human and forgive yourself too.
Adults tend to make too much of children crying. Children to do not have the capacity to cope with change that we do. Often adults get upset at children when they cry, yell at them and everyone gets even more upset. Maybe it is a hold over from when our parents yelled at us when we cried as kids.
Crying is a temporary measure to cope with stress. We all did it. Virtually all of us outgrew it.
You certainly do not want them hurting each other, but 5 minutes after fighting and battling, they are best friends and sharing. About all you can really do is to tone it done a little.
Then of course, there are hormones. You cannot blame them for every time you may have become angry too soon. But you do have to realize that you are human and forgive yourself too.
Turned in application...chances of getting the job?
Q. I'm 16 years old and I have no previous work experience. I turned in an application at three different clothing stores at the mall. The stores are geared towards teens, so I thought that I would have a better chance at getting a job at one of them. I applied for a seasonal job so that I could gain some experience.
I applied two days ago and I haven't gotten a call from any of the stores. Should I call them back in a few days? And for those who work in retail or have worked in retail, do I have any chance at being hired at all?
I applied two days ago and I haven't gotten a call from any of the stores. Should I call them back in a few days? And for those who work in retail or have worked in retail, do I have any chance at being hired at all?
A. I manage a retail clothing store about the size of a TJ Maxx size store and while some manages may not agree with what I'm going to say, I'm going to be perfectly honest with you. You might be better off applyig at a store like Toys R Us or a much larger store like K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Kohls, Sears, etc. Here's why: I'm literally getting 40-50 applications for every job opening that I have - and I'm hiring 20 people (alot for a store my size, but unlike most retailers, our business is actually up). I'v hired 17 so far (they all have to go thru orientation and training BEFORE Black Friday, 2 weeks away). 2 of those 17 were minors...all the rest are over 18. Why? Because when we have extended store hours during the week, starting Sunday November 30th, minors can only work until 10 pm in the state where my store is located Sunday thru Thursday. If we lock the doors at 10 and they have to leave, who's going to clean up? And the hours only get longer as we get closer to Christmas so I need alot of 18+ year olds working to fill those late night (and daytime when you're in school) hours. Smaller mall stores are NOT doing good financially this year and sales are projected to be, for alot of retailers, more than 10% lower than last year. That means alot less hiring, so I'm guessing they'll probably focus on 18 year olds too. Because of the size of stores like Wal-Mart, K-Mart, etc., they have the flexibility in their payroll to hire some minors for the season, where the much smaller mall stores do not. Every hire will have to be able to work a totally flexible schedule.
As for calling, that's up to you. Call once if you want, then move on. Personally, I won't even take calls coming in anymore from people askig about their application status. I don't have the time and neither do my assistant managers. I have an operations manager who looks over apps daily and calls those that meet our needs for interviews. If he didn't call on an app, your calling us will not change the fact that we've already determined you're not going to meet our seasonal needs. If we think you might meet our needs, the fact that you have no prior job experience doesn't count against you in our eyes, as long as you've completed the application fully, accurately (with references and phone numbers because we DO call references) and show you have flexibility. The minors I have will typically work ALL weekends and weekend nights (Fri and Sat) so don't even think about asking off for a winter formal, a football playoff, or any extra-curricular activities. I have a rule that there's NO requests off at all (except medical or other unforeseen emergency like a death in the family) in December.
If you really want to do retail, like I said, try the bigger stores who may be hiring more minors and you'll have a better chance. Don't let the fact you have no prior job experience stop you, everyone starts somewhere. If you get an interview, impress them with how you dress. Dress neatly (nice khaki pants - not dress pants unless its a dressier big store like Macys - nice shirt, nothing revealing.) Managers look for people who will make a nice impression on customers and give the store a good image.
One other suggestion, start the paperwork for your working papers. In the state I work, minors need a physical as a requirement for getting working papers. Do that now. If I hire a minor, I need to know that person can start next week, not in 2 or 3 weeks because they're having trouble scheduling a doctor's appointment/getting their working papers completed.
If you get a seasonal job, work hard, don't goof off and pay attention to detail whether you're on the sales floor or on register. A number of seasonal jobs turn into permanent jobs after the season for those who go above and beyond. Good luck!
As for calling, that's up to you. Call once if you want, then move on. Personally, I won't even take calls coming in anymore from people askig about their application status. I don't have the time and neither do my assistant managers. I have an operations manager who looks over apps daily and calls those that meet our needs for interviews. If he didn't call on an app, your calling us will not change the fact that we've already determined you're not going to meet our seasonal needs. If we think you might meet our needs, the fact that you have no prior job experience doesn't count against you in our eyes, as long as you've completed the application fully, accurately (with references and phone numbers because we DO call references) and show you have flexibility. The minors I have will typically work ALL weekends and weekend nights (Fri and Sat) so don't even think about asking off for a winter formal, a football playoff, or any extra-curricular activities. I have a rule that there's NO requests off at all (except medical or other unforeseen emergency like a death in the family) in December.
If you really want to do retail, like I said, try the bigger stores who may be hiring more minors and you'll have a better chance. Don't let the fact you have no prior job experience stop you, everyone starts somewhere. If you get an interview, impress them with how you dress. Dress neatly (nice khaki pants - not dress pants unless its a dressier big store like Macys - nice shirt, nothing revealing.) Managers look for people who will make a nice impression on customers and give the store a good image.
One other suggestion, start the paperwork for your working papers. In the state I work, minors need a physical as a requirement for getting working papers. Do that now. If I hire a minor, I need to know that person can start next week, not in 2 or 3 weeks because they're having trouble scheduling a doctor's appointment/getting their working papers completed.
If you get a seasonal job, work hard, don't goof off and pay attention to detail whether you're on the sales floor or on register. A number of seasonal jobs turn into permanent jobs after the season for those who go above and beyond. Good luck!
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